Overview
For the article on the Save the World hero of the same name, please see Mari
CB Radio
CB Radio[]
| Audio | Subtitle |
|---|---|
| MARI: Cancel your plans, humanoids! | |
| Believer Beach is on FIRE! | |
| (laugh) I gotta say, I am proud of this little island. | |
| We're not running for cover. We're not hiding under a rock. | |
| We're hittin' the beach to say, "What's up, aliens? How're you?" | |
| And they're saying... honestly, uh, nothing. But the party is just getting started! | |
| MARI: We're storming the sandcastles and taking it to the beach, baby! | |
| I was there last night. It's like a whole movement sprung up out of nothing! | |
| Maybe we shouldn't be planning to fight these visitors! | |
| Maybe we should be saying, "What's ours is yours!" | |
| Or like, "Take us to YOUR leader," huh? | |
| It's like our minds have been... (mimics head explosion) opened! | |
| I was maybe in the sun a lot and not hydrating and... yeah... | |
| And now... I'm gonna... take a nap. Mmm. | |
| Yeah, I- I gotta sit down now. | |
| Love you, my Saucer Hotties. (yawning) So much. | |
| MARI: So. Uh. | |
| You ever seen someone, like... unzip themselves, and uh... | |
| You know... | |
| Be an alien? | |
| I, uh- you know, I'm not trying to be an alarmist but that's not the Believer Beach vibe I was hoping for. | |
| MARI: Can we work together to keep our beloved beach clean? | |
| I've been out there enjoying the sand and surf, and... well... | |
| Some litterbug keeps scattering alien tech all over the place! | |
| That's what the garbage cans are for! | |
| The ground isn't a garbage can, people! | |
| Let's keep Believer Beach.... beautiful. | |
| MARI: I am loving the chill vibes on the beach today. | |
| Ah! These alien visitors, wow! Some of them have a real eye for fine art. | |
| The circles... the, the... the blobs! So organic and raw. | |
| I was pretty moved. | |
| Did anyone catch those cool sand sculptures? | |
| How could they NOT come in peace?! | |
| MARI: (out of breath) Whew... Okay, my Saucers! | |
| I spent all night blowing up some big bouncy water floaties for our guests. | |
| They're in the water now if you wanna hop on over and check 'em out. | |
| You'll get some real air, so be careful! | |
| Use the buddy system. | |
| It'd be a great opportunity to make a friend. | |
| Maybe even a friend from another galaxy! | |
| Or, uhhhh, dimension? | |
| Space-time... pocket? | |
| You know what I mean. | |
| MARI: Okay, y'all. I have to admit... the big mothership floating over the Island? Freaky. | |
| Don't get me wrong. It looks cool... | |
| Maybe I'm seeing things... | |
| But I swear I saw someone... GET SUCKED UP INTO IT. | |
| Or maybe they were just visiting, and that is how their front door works! | |
| (forced laugh) Right? | |
| ...Right? | |
| MARI: Yooo! I drove a saucer yesterday! | |
| The keys were in the ignition, and nobody was around... | |
| So I just... hopped in! | |
| I mean, we all do it to the cars on the Island all the time anyway. | |
| Maybe it's the aliens' way of teaching us about their technology. | |
| I'm not saying you should try it, but if you do... | |
| Be careful. The handling on those things? Totally wild! | |
| MARI: I wanna shout out one of the Saucers I met on the beach yesterday! | |
| We danced, played a little volleyball, talked a lot about the aliens... | |
| ...Like, a LOT... about the aliens. | |
| It was really chill! | |
| So, Sunny, if you are out there, thanks for being a listener. | |
| And for filling me in on our new alien friends. | |
| From what you say, they sound like real party people! | |
| MARI: Saucers! The Believer Beach bash is in full swing! | |
| Come hit the surf, dance in the sand, and enjoy some sweet tunes! | |
| I'll be the one drinking Slurp Juice out of a pineapple. | |
| I don't know how. But I WILL make it work. | |
| MARI: I have an urgent update on the beach party. | |
| Someone is... watching us. Maybe the government. Maybe the IO. | |
| I don't know what they're planning, so stay sharp. | |
| MARI: The Beach Lurkers are back at it. | |
| What are you expecting to see? People having a rad alien-themed time? | |
| Illegal sandcastles? What?! | |
| Maybe stop being dorks and join in the fun! | |
| Unless it's Slone out there. She is NOT welcome and she knows it. | |
| MARI: If you've noticed anything strange attached to your head... | |
| I'm not entirely sure what it is. | |
| So maybe... don't let that happen to you? Supes helpful, I know. | |
| Or maybe jump into some water! Uh, that works with bees... Am I the only one that does that? | |
| MARI: Hey, Saucers! Any of y'all been feeling strange lately? | |
| One of my beach buddies... they don't seem to be entirely themselves these days. | |
| I'm sure it's nothing, but... keep an eye out for your friends, okay? | |
| MARI: Eyes on the sky, people! Something's moving up there! | |
| It looks like... landing ships. And they're definitely hovering above the Island. | |
| I'd take cover 'til we can find out more. | |
| But you... you're an adventurer, so do your thing under that UFO sky! | |
| MARI: You ever wish you could see the farthest reaches of the galaxy? | |
| Well if that's the case, just go outside. Because the aliens are way into abductions right now! | |
| Obviously, I'm kidding! But, you know, also I- I'm not? | |
| MARI: I'm hearing big rumors, Saucers. Like, people-are-getting-abducted type rumors. | |
| And... they're living to tell the tale! | |
| Do you know someone who's gone missing? | |
| Call into the show! I'd love to hear your story. | |
| MARI: So many Saucers are calling in with their abduction stories! | |
| People are saying they're held in some kind of... enclosure.... | |
| And they had to fight their way out! | |
| If you have any other details, I'd really like to hear from you. | |
| Because right now it's being described as... indescribable. | |
| Which is not ideal for a radio show. |
| Audio | Subtitle |
|---|---|
| Mari: Hello? Is this on? (tap tap tap) Hellooo? | |
| Of course nobody's answering. 'Cause nobody's listening, stupid. | |
| Sorry. Trying to call myself stupid less... Ugh, this IS stupid, though! | |
| I think the longer I go without sharing this, the bigger and scarier I'm making it seem in my head. | |
| Which is ridiculous, because I saw what I saw. | |
| No amount of time is going to make people think I'm any more or less sane. | |
| Mari:' Okay. Now I am being stupid. I should just say it. Just say it! | |
| I've been seeing UFOs in the sky for months. | |
| (tossing radio away) | |
| Okay. Alright. Great. Cool. Um... I said it and I'm still alive... | |
| And actually... feeling good. Woo! (laughs) Sharing! | |
| (inhale, exhale) I've seen UFOs. Flying saucers. There, said it again. | |
| Mari: Okay, no turning back now. I've put it out there. | |
| It started really late one night. I was locking up my car, getting ready to go inside. | |
| When I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye! | |
| Mari: GAH! (throws away radio) | |
| Mari: Ugh, please don't call me that. Oh, this is really embarrassing. | |
| Mari: So you... believe me? | |
| Mari: What kind of purpose would that serve? | |
| Mari: Well, I promise that's not what I'm doing... | |
| And, while that's very flattering, I'm not an evil mastermind. | |
| Mari: Like, listening? Ah, now I'm embarrassed again! | |
| Mari: Okay. Okay. Let's see if you're right. (ahem) | |
| Hi, out there. My name is Mari and if you've ever had a weird encounter that you can't explain-- | |
| Mari: Oh no, I'm sorry! I'll shut up now! | |
| Mari: Y-yeah? You wanna talk about it? | |
| Mari: Space is too big. | |
| I've kept this opinion to myself for years and years, but I am done! | |
| Space is far too big. We don't need all that! | |
| The moon is nice, so w- we need some space. The sun's fine. But anything beyond that... no thank you. | |
| Also the ocean should only be four feet deep. | |
| Sorry. I've been reading about aliens and it's... really unsettling. | |
| Knowing anything could have been out there is not the most comforting thought. | |
| Mari: The thing that gets me is that we've been warned! | |
| The aliens have been like, "Look at our ships, hiiii!" | |
| And we're like, "Oh, not today, my friends. NOT TODAY." | |
| But I don't think we can pull this off forever. | |
| I think it's happening. I think it's happening, and I think it's going to be very very BAD. | |
| Mari: I was talking to my therapist - who is not really a therapist. He's more of a dog with "I'm listening" eyes. | |
| And... I think it is time to embrace the fact that we are not alone in the universe. | |
| I don't know what that means... | |
| But, hey! Maybe that's something we can like figure out together. | |
| So if you're out there, maybe give me a call. | |
| Mari: I keep going back and forth. | |
| Cause on one hand I'm like, "Maybe the aliens will come and destroy us all just 'cause!" | |
| But on the other hand, I keep hoping that maybe they're going to share some amazing technology with us. | |
| And welcome us to the galactic club of cool societies! | |
| But then I think about all the times I've seen ants... | |
| And I've never been like, "Hey, ants! Want to learn about levers and pulleys?" | |
| So maybe it's silly to expect that to happen for us. | |
| But if you're out there, aliens, we are good learners. | |
| I mean, we're not... But at any given time, there are like fifty smart people and we can find them for you! | |
| Mari: Today's topic: Things that are Probably Aliens. | |
| First one's easy. Octopuses. | |
| Eight arms. Problem solving. Interior decorating skills. | |
| Honestly, if you told me the ocean was an intergalactic rest stop for aliens, I would agree. | |
| Mari: Nature's frat boy, the kangaroo, actually an alien? You heard it here first. | |
| Mari: Agree to disagree! | |
| Mari: Alright, let's not blame anyone else for the platypus. That one's on us. | |
| Mari: Last week I asked you to write in your alien questions and...ya'll... | |
| I did not expect this response. | |
| So, thank you to everyone who sent in questions. | |
| And to everyone who asked me to stop: I hear you, I respect you, I ignore you. | |
| Question One! Farmer Steel asks, "I am looking for volunteers to protect my corn." | |
| "Can you please help?" | |
| Mari: Well if you are out there and you feel strongly about corn, this is your time to shuck! | |
| Mari: Love these questions, love 'em! Please keep 'em comin'! | |
| Bush Ranger writes... | |
| Okay, uh, Bush Ranger actually just sent a drawing. I- I think it's a shrub hugging a stick figure? | |
| Is that...? Oh, I think that's supposed to be me! Aww, Bushy, my heart can't take such sweetness! | |
| Oh! There's something written here. It says, "Hihihi. Don't let them eat me." | |
| Uh, I have some good news, Bushy. I can't promise they won't eat you... | |
| But I am pretty sure you are poisonous, so if they do, they're gonna have a bad day. | |
| So it's not a lot, but it is something. | |
| Keep growing toward the light, my leafy frond. | |
| Mari: Okay, uhh... Zorgotron writes, "As an alien who has been on the island for years now..." | |
| "I'm curious why no one ever asks my opinion on alien matters." | |
| Probably because we all thought that was a costume. | |
| And also... I don't know, you're such a slow talker. | |
| And, sure, you may possess the wisdom of the cosmos, but pick up the pace! | |
| Mari: More questions! | |
| Doctor Slone from the IO has this to say... | |
| "Cease all communications with and discussion of alien matters immediately." | |
| Uh oh. Sounds like someone knows something. | |
| Well, tell me who you are and what the IO is and maybe we'll have a deal. | |
| Mari: Hey, look. Uh, if you know who this "Slone" weirdo is, can you message me? | |
| She will not back off and she is really freaking me out. | |
| Seriously. Please. | |
| Mari: (panting) I don't know how much time I have. | |
| I'm not quitting! | |
| I am not stopping the show. | |
| And anyone who says so is lying! | |
| THEY'RE HERE! (struggle) | |
| Mari: Hi. Everyone. | |
| I'm back. I'm fine. | |
| I'm gonna hit pause here for a while. | |
| There's not a lot I can say but... | |
| Be careful. Please. | |
| And keep watching the stars. |
News Tab
News Tab[]
| Image | Description | Date |
|---|---|---|
| 9/12/2021 at 4 PM ET. https://fn.gg/SkyFire |
September 10th 2021 |
Trivia
Trivia[]
- She is voiced by Erika Ishii in English and Beatrice Caggiula in Italian.
- She shares her name with Mari from Save the World. They could have been the same character, but there is little evidence for this.